The Art of the Ask: Does it Hurt ?


When I was a kid, I remember asking my best friend who lived next store, a question.  I think I was asking her for a cookie or piece of candy, something simple like that.  She went to ask her mom a question, and then came back and said, “my mom said it’s not polite for you to ask.”

I don’t know why I remember that so clearly, she moved away in second grade, so I was pretty young at the time. I think it’s the feeling of being chastised is why this memory has stayed with me.

This isn’t an anomaly, as we are often conditioned as kids not to ask for things. Don’t ask too many questions, don’t ask personal questions, don’t ask for help, figure it out yourself, etc.
I remember my mom once telling me that I was “never satisfied” because I wanted to go shopping.  I’m sure it’s something her own parents probably said to her when she was growing up.  The lesson will not be carried on as this is not something I would ever say to my own kids.  I want them to want more, not less.

Wanting more is a natural instinct that we all have, life depends on it. Our business sustainability depends on it.

Life depends on acquiring more.  More food, more friends, more experiences, more fun, more money.  Success is completely dependent
on getting more.  Wanting less would be counter-productive for living life to the fullest.  The desire to settle is not what drives entrepreneurial spirit.

So why do we hesitate to ask for more from others? Why are we taught that it’s better to give and not so great to receive? Yes, giving is important and is energetically tied to receiving more, and also an integral part of personal and spiritual development.  The question is why are we uncomfortable to ask?  Life is based on give and take, and it is completely necessary that we are at easy with taking.

We must be able to give freely, and also take freely.  Mental health experts know that the happiest people are the ones who have the ability to receive love, and they in turn are able to give love as well.

“It doesn’t hurt to ask?”, right?  Physically, no, but consciously and subconsciously, it often does.  In order to reprogram our thinking, we must come to the terms with the fact that everything we want, no matter what it is, comes from other people.  More business, more money, more travel, more fun, more love, more friends, it all requires something from something else.  But we have to ask in order to receive.

There are four areas where asking can help you grow your business, and your bank account.

  1. Ask Questions: Understand yourself and what drives you. Know your “why” for why you’re in business, what your goals are, and what you ultimately want to achieve. Any muddy areas will keep you from moving forward.

    Ask Questions: Understand yourself and what drives you. Know your “why” for why you’re in business, what your goals are, and what you ultimately want to achieve. Any muddy areas will keep you from moving forward.

  2. Ask for help: Ask the universe to help you, through conscious requests, vision boards, and your marketing plan. This will set in motion the energy you need to manifest what you desire.

    Also, hire employees and delegate anything that isn’t within your zone of genius, or related to your unique gifts, talents, and passion. Provide clear instructions and expectations, and document your systems so your future team will have well constructed guidelines.

    And seek mentors who can help pull your forward faster by showing you pitfalls and shortcuts that augment and shorten your learning curve.

  3. Ask for the sale: The most successful business owners are proactive salespeople. They actively pursue leads and ask for the appointment because they know that an empty calendar will create an empty bank account. Schedule discovery session, and then ask for the sale, or at least invite them! 🙂

    The ability to acknowledge that you want and need something from others paves the way for courage to go after it. Being honest about what we want is a healthy mindset, and universal law mandates that we must give equally to what we receive, so there is no need to worry, and everyone wins.

    Which of the four areas above do you need to ask for more so you can grow your business? Please leave a comment below, I’d love your feedback.


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